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Men or women cheat when their partners are unavailable to them. When a relationship inevitably loses its initial luster, it is not uncommon to long for the passion, sexual thrill, and idealized connection with another that was present when it began. Seiter went on to to explain that emotional cheating may mean different things to different people, but it all boils down to the same motivation: Victoria Lorient-Faibish , psychotherapist and author of Connecting: They struggle to feel affirmed or desired. Feeling stuck or not being sure what to do represents a fear of making a different choice. Having another man want them is affirming," she said.
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Their inability to emotionally connect to their wounded inner child who is searching to be nurtured and affirmed that they are enough and deserving of being loved simply due to their inherent worth and preciousness. When a relationship inevitably loses its initial luster, it is not uncommon to long for the passion, sexual thrill, and idealized connection with another that was present when it began. Licensed marriage and family therapist Anita Chlipala agrees, saying, "Women can cheat because they want reinforcement that they 'still got it. Infidelity does not necessarily signal something wrong in the relationship; rather, it reflects that being in a relationship is a daily choice. Solomon says men also cheat because of fear, loneliness or anger. If we see maintaining marriage as an important value outside of abuse we will be more open and willing to make new choices that works towards maintaining the marriage. But the sad truth is affairs do happen.
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