Physical intimacy with other human beings is essential to our health and well-being. The higher infidelity rates among these two cohorts contribute to the changing pattern in the gender gap as they grow older over time. But after 13 years of her routine life, it became stagnant. The first time I saw my favorite married man pick up his pint of beer, the sleeve of his well-tailored suit pulled back from his wrist to reveal a geometric kaleidoscope of tattoos. She was raising two young children, her husband worked towards his career and she never felt neglected at home. Almost before I'd finished processing this, another friend told me she was percent faithful to her husband, except when she was out of town for work each month.
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At the time I married, marriage had felt like a panacea; it was a bond that would provide security, love, friendship, stability, and romance -- the chance to have children and nice dishes, to be introduced as someone's wife. It turned out that most of these differences such as age, race, party identity, religious service attendance, family background are significant, even after controlling for other factors. After all, nearly as many women are initiating affairs as men. So we have an imbalance, an elephant-size problem, so burdensome and shameful we can scarcely muster the strength to talk about it. Many of the women Walker interviewed were in marriages that were functional. Why did these people marry in the first place? Rethinking Infidelity , comes near the beginning.