Kaye advises that women "follow their instincts" when deciding whether their husband may be gay. Our helpline is offered at no cost to you and with no obligation to enter into treatment. I felt unsure about our future and often shut out of what was really going on in his mind, but we told no one. When a gay person comes out to his or her straight spouse, the couple is likely to embark on a roller-coaster ride of emotional stages that often encompasses humiliation, revenge, renewed hope, rage, and finally, resolution. We worked on it together over a glass of wine on our front porch, smiling and waving at unknowing neighbours as they walked by. She concluded that my ideal was to remain monogamous—something my husband could not do.
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The Gillette ad backlash has proved just how fragile masculinity can be. Two years earlier, while our two youngest kids were napping, Mike told me on our back porch that he had recently discovered that he was also attracted to men. Indigenous woman finds vile note left on her car. Gay friends are often fascinated by his former life. The straight spouse is usually satisfied with the way things were before they learned about having an overtly gay spouse; thus getting back the person they married. We found an awesome psychotherapist who asked tough questions. Gay people think that you should come out and divorce, otherwise you are keeping a foot in heterosexual privilege.